


even though our stars are crossed

by SugarFey



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: F/F, Porn with Feelings, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:15:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21933586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarFey/pseuds/SugarFey
Summary: “You said you used to work for Anderson Dawes.”Naomi has been coming to Drummer's quarters for a while now. It means nothing. Really.
Relationships: Camina Drummer/Naomi Nagata
Comments: 13
Kudos: 71
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	even though our stars are crossed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lurrel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurrel/gifts).



> This is a last minute treat for lurrel, who left a prompt for Drummer and Naomi being each other's one that got away and I could not get that idea out of my mind! Happy Yuletide!
> 
> Warnings: references to past canon abusive relationships (no specific details).

It started as a way to blow off steam after a particularly frustrating malfunction on one of the rail guns and a message from Fred which was probably meant to sound encouraging but instead came off as condescending. Drummer poured herself and Naomi drinks in her quarters while they debriefed and they ended up fucking on the floor in a whiskey haze. It was hardly Drummer’s most professional moment, but Naomi screamed so prettily when Drummer sucked on her tits that it seemed only natural to roll over and let Naomi return the favour.

Since then Naomi has been sneaking into Drummer’s quarters fairly regularly and it ends in sex more often than not. They never discuss it by tacit agreement and Drummer insists that the rest of the crew never find out. She has seen too many captains abuse their positions by screwing their crew members and she always swore she would never be one of them. But whatever this is with Naomi, it’s different. They came close to it before, back on Tycho. Some sort of magnetism which draws them together until they cannot keep their hands off each other’s skin. It’s wild and rough and so, so damn good.

She barely raises her head from her reports when Naomi enters this time. She gave Naomi the pass code a while ago and no one else would dare approach her quarters without first sending a notification.

“Do you have time…?” Naomi lingers at the entrance, her eyes flicking about the room.

Drummer slips her hand terminal into the stand by her chair to secure it. “For you? Always.”

“Thank fuck.” Naomi crosses the short distance between them and straddles Drummer’s lap without ceremony. “Kiss me.”

Drummer is only too happy to oblige. She loves a good, dirty make out session. Naomi grinds deeper into her lap, reaching up to undo the zipper of her own jumpsuit and sliding it down.

She pushes Drummer’s hands to her breasts and then fumbles with Drummer’s own collar. Normally Naomi is focused, attentive, playing off Drummer’s reactions to tease her just right. Her movements now are distracted, hurried, almost mechanical. She leans back to unclasp her bra and her eyes rest somewhere over Drummer’s shoulder, as if this was some obligation she has to deal with like filing a progress report or fixing a broken power grid.

Drummer’s mood evaporates, replaced by a cold, sick feeling in her stomach. “Naomi,” she says firmly, grasping Naomi’s hands to still them. “You don’t have to do this.”

Naomi shakes her head, eyes still focusing on something Drummer cannot see. “No, no, I want to, please…”

“Naomi.” Drummer fights to keep her voice clipped and precise, the way she would on the bridge, and that finally seems to grab Naomi’s attention. “You don’t have to fuck me because I’m the captain, or because we’ve fucked before, or anything else. You’re under no obligation to—“

“Drummer.” Naomi touches her cheek, and her hand feels so cool. Drummer resists the urge to lean into it. She will not give Naomi any sense of expectation. Naomi studies her, the silence stretching out between them, until finally she drops her hands down to her sides. “I’m sorry. I want to do this with you, I do. It’s just…” Her face crumples and Drummer wishes she could take Naomi into her arms, but this is not the time.

“What’s on your mind?” she prompts instead. She was always rubbish at this sort of thing. Years of keeping her own feelings locked beneath the surface have left her ill equipped for discussing the emotions of anyone else.

Naomi sighs heavily and sits back on Drummer’s knees. “You said you used to work for Anderson Dawes.”

The comment comes as a surprise. Drummer has shared some crumbs of her history with Naomi but they have never really discussed it in detail. “I did.”

Naomi drums her fingers nervously against her knee. Her shoulders and jaw are rigid with tension. “Do you regret it?”

The question tightens a knot in her stomach. Drummer shrugs and tries to play it off. “I was young. Stupid. We do many things we regret in those days. I try to forget.”

“I’m trying to forget too,” Naomi murmurs.

Drummer watches her carefully. “But it won’t work.”

Naomi shakes her head, pressing her lips together into a hard line. “I have a son.”

Whatever Drummer expected, it was not this. Naomi’s eyes are bright, her arms tightly crossed over her body. Surprise gives way to a dawning realisation. “You lost him.”

Naomi lets out something suspiciously like a sob before covering her mouth, eyes fixed on the floor. Drummer gives her the time to compose herself. She understands the need to conceal your feelings from the world.

“I used to run with Marco Inaros,” Naomi says after a moment. “He took my child from me.”

“Inaros?” Drummer punctuates her words with a hand gesture of disgust. “I always knew he was an asshole.”

“Yeah, well, I wish I did.”

“Hey.” Drummer grabs Naomi’s hands to keep her attention. _Sabaka,_ why is she so bad at this? She fights the dryness in her throat, rubbing her thumbs over the delicate bones of Naomi’s wrists. “Dawes used to make me think that I owed him. That he was raising me up from the dock trash I was. Made it easy for him to talk his way into my head.” She coaxes Naomi forward until their bodies meet. “It’s not your fault, _ke?_ The fault lies with him.”

Something in Naomi’s body seems to give way and she slumps against Drummer’s chest, her fingers gripping the fabric of Drummer’s sleeve. “Today is my son’s birthday. I try to shut it down, to not think, but sometimes…”

Drummer rubs Naomi’s back. It’s awkward and unpractised, but it seems to calm Naomi’s shallow breathing. “I could find him for you,” Drummer offers. “If you like.”

Naomi lifts her head with a sad smile. She brushes a soft kiss against Drummer’s cheek. “I’ll ask. One day, I’ll ask.”

Drummer turns into her and their lips meet. It’s gentle, almost invisible until they break apart and their eyes catch. There is something in Naomi’s gaze which Drummer cannot quite place, but when they kiss again it is with a new urgency, a shared understanding of a painful history.

Naomi melts into Drummer’s arms as her mouth opens to Drummer’s touch, the heat between them building to a desperate need. Drummer slides her hands under Naomi’s ass, pulling her close, but it isn’t enough.

She breaks off the kiss. “We need to move.” Naomi murmurs something incoherent in response and nibbles Drummer’s earlobe. It’s exquisite, it’s hot and she needs Naomi in her bed right _now._ “Do you want to walk,” Drummer purrs, “or should I carry you?”

Naomi pulls back, eyebrow raised. “Can you even…?”

Before Naomi can finish the sentence, Drummer grips Naomi’s thighs, plants her feet firmly on the floor and stands.

“Holy shit.” Naomi grabs on to Drummer’s shoulders with a laugh, shifting to steady herself. “That’s impressive.”

Drummer smirks, loving the feel of Naomi’s legs around her hips. “I work out for a reason.” Naomi’s legs tighten in response and Drummer lets herself enjoy it. She could fuck Naomi against the bulkhead if she wanted, just like this. The clench of muscle beneath her palms tells her that Naomi is strong enough to hold herself in place while Drummer works her. Yet she carries Naomi the short distance to her bunk and tips them both onto the covers. They fall onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, Drummer’s arms on either side of Naomi’s face, Naomi gazing up at her.

Naomi says nothing, only traces her thumb along Drummer’s bottom lip, studying her until Drummer’s skin warms under the attention. If only she could read Naomi as easily as Naomi seems to read her.

Naomi fumbles with the zipper at Drummer’s throat. “Get this off.”

Drummer smirks down at her, eyebrow raised. “Is that a command, Chief Nagata?”

“You know what I mean.” She tugs Drummer’s zipper again as her lips brush the shell of Drummer’s ear. “Want to _see_ you.”

Drummer’s cheeks heat further. She hasn’t felt self-conscious about her body since she was a gawky teenager. She knows how good she looks, and Naomi has seen her naked many times now. But for all the earlier times, clothes were shed quickly, frantically, their nakedness a necessity for easy access. There is a newness to this, a headiness she cannot quite grasp.

She shifts back to kneel at the foot of the bed and reaches for her collar. “You, too.”

Drummer is barely aware of her movements as she undresses, too focused on the slow reveal of Naomi’s skin. Naomi is beautiful, she has always known this, but the light and the stillness allow for a renewed appreciation. Naomi shuffles her jumpsuit and panties off in one go, her bra following, and Drummer’s breath hitches in her throat. The light casts soft shadows across Naomi’s breasts and hips, dipping down towards her pelvis and the thick curls between her legs. Drummer wants to trace those shadows with her tongue.

Naomi meets her eyes just as Drummer’s own clothing hits the deck. Normally this would be cue for Naomi to raise her brows and say something which hits just that right level between flirty and sarcastic which will make Drummer tackle her to the mattress and fuck her senseless. Instead, she takes Drummer’s hand and draws her forward, and Drummer follows until they lie side by side.

“Kiss me,” Naomi repeats, only now the words are a shaky whisper. Drummer leans over and gives her what she wants. What they both want. The kiss is light at first, then deepens, their tongues meeting as their arms embrace. Naomi hums against Drummer’s lips while she strokes Drummer’s cheek, and the contrast between the softness of Naomi’s mouth and the rough calluses on her fingers is enough to make Drummer shudder.

With one swift movement, Drummer rolls on top of Naomi, breaking off the kiss only to suck hard on the sensitive spot behind Naomi’s ear. She teases her thumb over Naomi’s nipple, just enough to make her squirm as she slides her thigh between Naomi’s legs.

_“Fuck,”_ Naomi gasps, her arms tightening around Drummer’s back as her hips surge to meet Drummer’s movements. “Camina, I need you—“

Drummer twitches at the sound of her first name. She shared it with Naomi once, when she was recovering from one hell of an orgasm, but to hear it spoken from Naomi’s lips is intoxicating and she groans into Naomi’s kiss, drunk on a feeling she had long forgotten.

She braces one hand by Naomi’s cheek and slides the other down, lingering on every smooth, soft curve until she finds the wetness she seeks. She sinks into Naomi and follows the stroking of her fingers with her body, her rocking hips against Naomi’s thigh feeding the fire within her as she brings Naomi closer and closer to the edge. She echoes each stroke with kisses she cannot bear to make rough, not just now.

Drummer keeps her eyes on Naomi’s face when she comes, drinking in every gasp and moan and sigh, wanting to make each sound her own. It’s enough to make her follow shortly after and she collapses at Naomi’s side.

Drummer’s awareness slowly returns when Naomi runs her fingers through her loose hair. Naomi gives her a warm, sated smile and it hits Drummer like a bullet to the gut. She has fallen in love with Naomi Nagata.

_Well, fuck._

Naomi pulls her close, oblivious to the turmoil now raging in Drummer’s mind. She gives Drummer a quick kiss. “Thank you, Camina.”

Drummer’s heart beats a frantic rhythm against her chest at the sound. She sits up and reaches for her undershirt, forcing the distance between them. “It’s nothing.”


End file.
